


For Ferelden

by Skylander (DramaHuman)



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2018-04-07 09:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4257912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaHuman/pseuds/Skylander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helena Cousland a Warden, left with the thought that she'd lost all her family and the burden of being one of the last Wardens in Ferelden and charged with stopping the blight. She struggles to still be herself as the world needs more than just Helena Cousland, they need a Grey Warden. Meeting Zevran is just an added twist in this journey of saving Thedas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Undetermined

**Author's Note:**

> A very rough work in the making, just wanted to try and put up what I have so I can read it like this then redo those pages and keep on chugging.
> 
> We all know who the characters belong to. BioWare please don't sue. ;D

Helena had been born with certain privileges, and these had been things she had perhaps taken for granted. The fact her Father had let her grow up as quite the rogue despite all their money and the fact that he let her wield a sword about the countryside was something everyone had turned their heads at, no one said a word to Teyrn Cousland’s daughter. However those days were long gone, and still no one said a thing about her wielding a sword, though now it was because of the fact that this particular woman had become a Grey Warden, and if one didn’t ignore the Noble woman with a sword, it was because they felt threatened. Those sided with Loghain, and the man himself had saw it fit to even hire someone to take out the woman and her fellow Grey Warden companion. The woman was traveling with him now as he spoke some smart comment, it only had her pale lips twisting in a scowl, “seriously Alistair, how old are you?” She finally asked. Her voice was strong albeit feminine.

The man couldn’t help but toss her a boyish grin which just had Helena rolling her eyes a bit, a small smirk tugging on those lips. 

Morrigan was a little less easy to please though and her scowl remained on her features, going to shake her head. “He doesn’t age Warden Helena, he just stopped at three. Sure his features seem to have grown but you peel back that facade and it’s just a toddler.”

Now Helena was truly amused and she was letting out a chuckle to which Alistair gave his own eyeroll. “Now I know you ladies just find it so entertaining to watch me squirm, but come now, have a bit of decency!”

Helena snorted and turned her gaze to the speaker, “says the man who uses lamp posts as euphemisms for sex.” She was at least kind enough to say this under her breath to the man, though it was still a joy watch the way he fumbled and nearly dropped the waterskin he’d been holding, his cheeks flaring up. Holding her head just a bit higher, the woman seemed satisfied and had gone to keep walking. She was about average height for a woman, her build hard to tell under the armor but she was obviously strong to bear it as easily as she did.

A woman stood not far in the distance, Helena’s mabari Fell bringing it to her attention as he gave out a bit of a warning growl. 

The woman wasn’t phased by Fell, only relieved that she saw someone had come to her aid. “Please, they raided our wagon, it’s just up ahead.” She had turn to run away from them in the direction of her wagon.

Morrigan was scowling like no tomorrow, “I don’t know about this Warden” she grumbled, and Alistair had his own head nodding in agreement, but seemed so surprised to have agreed with her upon something that he remained speechless.

Helena’s blue eyes stared out at the direction the woman went and sighed, giving a shrug of her shoulders, “nothing we can’t handle.” It was true enough and she had gone to give a shake of her head, reaching one long arm behind her head to grasp the pommel of one of her blades.  
“Isn’t that what people usually say before they’re attacked?” Alistair ventured as they were coming up to the wagon. The blonde woman was smirking as she tilted her head toward an Elf walking up to her side. 

Helena’s blue eyes were looking at the newcomer as his smirk widened, already both her daggers were drawn, Alistair by her side, the Grey Warden issued greatsword and shield up in arms. Behind her, she heard Morrigan’s whispered breath, her staff slamming into the ground. It was that quick. The group of ‘raiders’ were swarming toward them, only held back by the mind blast that Morrigan had shot out. 

Helena wielded the blades to cross in front of her, the air singing with the hum and crash of steel. There was an intensity to those blue eyes, her tattoos almost brightening on her face from the sheer exhilaration of battle. The elf who had started it all was not to be seen as he flashed around like a blur in his movements, but soon enough Helena had speared a man through his leather armor, stepping on him to pull out the blade when she caught the movement in the corner of her eye. It seemed the Elf had no clue this woman was not a noble warrior, but a rogue. She thrust that same dagger up at his throat before he had come in for a killing blow, and while the point of her dagger rested on the flesh of this throat, she caught him off guard. She raised up her other arm, the pommel of her dagger coming to slam down into the side of his head and rendering him unconscious. 

Helena looked back to Alistair. “I think we just got ourselves our first prisoner” she went to give the area a once over, to make sure no one else was hiding about and saw Morrigan going over to the woman who had helped set them up. “What do you think Morrigan?” She asked, feeling Alistair’s disapproval at her trust in Morrigan. Despite his concerns though, Helena found herself putting faith in the Apostate where others wouldn’t.

“Is it really such a good id-”

“Alistair, come help me move him, he’s no loaf of bread you know.” Helena had pointedly interrupted him, and he knew it but still Alistair came to her aid, heaving a loud and resentful sigh as he did so.

The two dragged him away from the open and laid him under a tree so they could take some refuge as well, away from the middle of the road. While Helena had sent Alistair to patrol, and Morrigan had gotten rid of the mage who had been heavily injured anyways, it was the redhaired woman who remained. Leaning against the tree, Helena studied his features, the tattoo on the side of his face, his tanned skin and lighter hair. He was someone that was certainly not from this area. There was something in the way his face looked when he ‘slept’ that was rather unnerving to Helena. That someone who fought with such cold skill could look so peaceful while being knocked out, then again would could have argued she was no different than him.

Alistair and Morrigan returned to Helena’s side just as the elf was rousing. “Ah, what a headache” the smooth accented voice passed from his lips and he was raising a hand to his head, “so what is it that you would like to know? I’m assuming that’s what you want, yes?”


	2. Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helena has a choice to gain an ally or put down a murderer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope someone out there finds this mildly enjoying. :) Happy reading!

“And you’re just going to give me the information?” Helena’s only show of surprise was the inclination of her eyebrows, but nothing got passed the elf, he had seen it.

“Why not? Either way I have failed my mission. The Crows will want me dead either way. I might as well talk to someone benevolent enough to not kill me on the spot. Allow me to introduce myself” his voice did not hesitate as he went to look up at Helena, hands bound and in front of him, “Zevran Arainai of the Antivan Crows, and you are the Grey Warden.”

“Actually she’s one of the TWO Grey Wardens” Alistair corrected, as he’d interrupted by giving a rather fake cough.

Helena had gone to roll her eyes heavenwards as she often did when it came to that boyish man friend of hers. “Yes all two of us. I mean this assassin sure was off on his numbers” The woman had replied, going to stare at Alistair, her tone was dry, she wasn’t one to be sarcastic but sometimes Alistair needed a bit of his own medicine.

The fellow Grey Warden gave a look of offense but before he could speak, the redheaded noble turned her attention back to Zevran who was patiently looking between the two as if to say, ‘may I continue’ and Helena gave a small curt nod to allow him to proceed. “Who hired you?”

Zevran gave a shrug, “someone who felt maybe you were stepping on their toes a bit.”

Helena’s upper lip went to curl as if she were going to snarl as Fell might have. “Loghain” she spat out, “where is he?” She was anxious to catch up with the man who had caused so much destruction, but at the same time, there was a part of her that knew she had to build up their alliances first.

The Elf was shaking his head a bit, “I did not meet him, it was thought that since he’d already paid that there would be no use to see me after the business arrangement was over.”

It seemed Zevran was less useful than she had hoped, it was as if Zevran could read Helena’s mind though and he held up his bound hands in a gesture that asked for time, “wait! I can still be of use to you. As an Antivan Crow, I have certain skills that might be desired by a beautiful woman like yourself.” That shameless flirt was tacked on as if he didn’t care his life was on the line. “I pledge my loyalty to you until you see fit to be done with me, and you get the use of a usually successful assassin. What do you say?”

There was one thing that Alistair and Morrigan could silently agree on without ever voicing it, that Helena Cousland could be a bit of a soft heart despite that fire in her eyes and the power that rippled through her body when she wielded her daggers. Fell whimpered next to Helena and her blue eyes darted to the mabari before sliding back to Zevran. He spoke of terms that she found worthy enough to listen to, even if they disagreed. “Okay Zevran….but if you try one wrong move, I will kill you before you can blink. Antivan Crow, or not.” Those words were said with a calm confidence, and why not? Helena had already passed two chances to kill him, once before she bound him, and now.

Alistair groaned behind her and Morrigan gave an exasperated sigh, “you’re going to need a taste tester from now on, I hope you know this. Best not to let him cook, or better yet, maybe he will just sneak into our tents at night and kill us one by one. If we’re lucky he’ll go for Alistair first.”

“HEY!” Alistair tried to reprimand Morrigan, and when she seemed to show no signs of remorse, that was when he pulled out the big guns. “You are sounding more and more like your mother. I do believe you’re starting to look a bit more like her too.”

“You dare to say that to me? I do NOT look like her!” Morrigan hastily replied, annoyance and a bit of worry edging her tone. 

While the Mage and Templar duked it out, Helena had knelt in front of Zevran, whom she had cleared of all weapons she had been able to find, and gave one clean cut through his bindings. “Welcome to the party” Helena had gone to comment offhandedly as she stood up and held her hand out to Zevran.

Though Elves were petite, Helena was a bit on the short side herself and turned out to only be an inch or two taller than Zevran but at the angle of which they stood, he seemed taller than her for now. He took her hand, and the time to look her over as he did so. There was a fierce look to her all over, and something about her that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, something underlining her that said she was quick, sly. This was no ordinary noble off to fight, and Zevran was pleased by that conclusion. “Beautiful and kind? I am quite lucky” he was once more shamelessly flirting.

Helena gave that slight surprised quirk of her brows once more, and the faintest hint of a smirk tugged at those pale lips. “Depends on how you look at it, I am about to drag you all across Ferelden and then some.” Those eyes gave him quite the bemused gaze before she had gone to look down, their hands were still clasping each other and she had gone to let her hand drop just a tad too quickly to be completely unphased by it. Perhaps Helena had simply been shocked at his level of cooperation.  
Zevran gave a chuckle, his accented voice bubbling from strong lips, “well, I guess only time will tell, right warden?”

This seemed to satisfy Helena had she finally gave him a small smirk of approval. “Right, now let’s get back to camp. We could all use some rest.”

Really, Helena was due for at least a nap after all that had unfolded at Redcliffe thus far. There had been the undead waking up all around them, and it had caused them to go through a whole night and then some of fighting. Of course it didn’t end at the undead, there were also the huge creatures so deformed that they couldn’t be identified, the corrupted mage here and there in between all their travels, and then the whole ordeal of saving Connor which had taken more strength and power than any of them should rightfully have had stripped away.

Zevran tried to fall in behind Helena but was promptly bumped back by Morrigan who sought out to be Helena’s ‘guard’ almost in this case, and then when he’d resigned himself to be the caboose of the train, Alistair ‘herded’ him to go up between him and Morrigan. The whole rest of the way went like that, everyone but the Warden with her eyes who sought him every now and then to make sure he didn’t get into trouble, or really, try to run, but she didn't try to push him here, there, and everywhere.


	3. Camping We Will Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helena and Zevran chat on the way to camp.

Camp was no short walk in the park, and finally after the hours had dragged on, Zevran had made his way next Helena. The Grey Warden was rather quiet as she listened to Morrigan and Alistair take up their bickering again, and indeed Zevran could have thanked them for their arguing, giving him some freedom.

“How did you end up an Antivan Crow?” Helena asked as she saw him come up next to her. He had mentioned it wasn’t by choice earlier but it was hard to focus on what he was saying when the other two were strongly voicing their opinions over him.

“Ah..” He gave a charming grin to Helena who simply gave a quirk of her brow and turned her gaze to look ahead. “I was sold to the Crows. I had grown up in a less than traditional environment. It wasn’t bad, but going to the Crows was not a punishment compared to that either.”

“I would say most of us seem to forgo the traditional parts of life in this group.” Helena offered this to him, including him as part of the group that had such an important mission. Blue eyes side glanced to the Antivan next to her. 

Zevran chuckled as Helena mentioned the obvious, that no one that surrounded him was remotely normal. “You ask how I became a crow, but how did you become a Warden? It’s obvious you have a noble upbringing, it shows in your walk, which is quite enjoyable to look at.”

Helena bit back a smirk, “you cheeky bird.” Taking a moment to decide if she would answer his question, the redhead gave a small shrug. “Commander Duncan had come to recruit…” Helena couldn’t say Ser Gilmore’s name it still made her heart clench in her chest and she swallowed the name, continuing on, “well he had come to recruit one of our soldiers, but instead he picked me.” It was no one’s business how Helena had come to be chosen that night, though, Duncan had interest in recruiting her all along, Ser Gilmore had simply been a cover. 

Hearing more to the story than Helena told him, Zevran watched her facial expressions, his sharp eyes belaying that carefree manner of his. When it became obvious she would not continue he had given a small nod. “I see, well, I am quite grateful that such a beauty as yourself became the Grey Warden who spared my life.”

“Does this always work for you?” The warden asked, smirking to him.

Zevran let out a less restrained chuckle at Helena’s quick words. “Sometimes, but, I am nothing if one to persevere.” 

Alistair stopped mid insult, directing his eyes from Morrigan to the Crow behind him. “I wouldn’t get too chummy, you’re not exactly a welcomed ally, are you?”

Surprised at the ‘bite’ at which Alistair addressed Zevran, Helena quirked her brows up in the manner that she’d become so used to, “welcomed or not, he’s a useful ally to have, Alistair.” She was reprimanding him, but if only because they did not need to give an assassin in their midst any reasons to kill them. Not to mention the Crow could still pull of the job and go back, at least that’s what Helena supposed. 

Impressed that she stood up for him, Zevran was giving Helena his own surprised look when he suddenly grinned, watching how Alistair squirmed.

“I suppose you’re right…” Alistair had answered this quite grudgingly, but he trusted Helena, even if he did not trust Zevran and scowling, he turned around.

Morrigan who had been so amused by the arguing between her and Alistair looked keenly to the ex templar as he had intervened on the two behind them. “Are you jealous,” she asked this, smirking, clearly quite amused at that thought. 

“No-not at all, I don’t only get protective over the ones I want, I’m sure it’s hard for someone of your thinking to imagine such a thing. Alistair was rolling his eyes at Morrigan, and before they could argue the point more, camp was spotted up ahead. 

Fell tore off from Helena’s side toward the camp, to which Helena gave the smallest smirk. “Home sweet home, until we move and set up somewhere else tomorrow.” She swept her hand along to show Zevran the expanse of the camp that lay before them. “We will see tonight if you can truly be trusted to hold up this deal.”

Zevran grinned widely. “Oh I wouldn’t worry too much about my word, even if I took off in the middle of the night, I still cannot return to Antiva, and for some reason, I do not think they would be pleased to see me after I failed my job.” He tucked a braided piece of his light blond hair behind his pointed ear and continued to grin, “I promise to attempt my best behaviour, but, I can’t guarantee anything when I’m around someone such as yourself.

The Antivan crow seemed to have set his flirting sights on Helena for the moment and it amused her greatly. “I think most of your points are valid,” she teased him, “but I can guarantee you will be on your best behaviour.” She gave Zevran a cunning smirk, as if daring him to try anything that might get him on her bad side. 

Upon entering the camp, Alistair had gone to grab more firewood and kindling while another redhead sat by the fire she had kept going during their absence. This particular redhead looked up as she saw Helena and the others, curiosity in her eyes as the gaze was pulled toward the handsome elf.

As if able to feel the attraction or admiration from anyone, Zevran’s gaze had shifted from Helena to Leliana, grinning. “And is that your lovely sister?” His voice was alluring as he asked this, but this time it was Leliana who laughed as she approached them.

“I am a sister, but not hers,” she responded, looking between the warden and the crow. “I am a sister of the Chantry, and who might you be?” 

Morrigan rolled her eyes at the conversation, as far as the Witch of the Wilds was concerned, they were all ridiculous.

Zevran seemed only more intrigued that Leliana was in the Chantry, “I have so many things I could think of right now-”

“And you should probably keep them yourself unless you have something very boringly appropriate to tell me” this was all the warning Leliana gave as she stared him down, finally giving a small smile and returning to her seat by the low and dwindling fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapters are short, but, I hope it just keeps me writing more if I'm not daunting myself with...normal sized chapters XD


	4. May the Circle be Unbroken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helena and the group head toward the Circle of Magi.

Several days later the group was making progress toward the Circle of Magi, Helena had promised Bann Teagan that she would help his nephew. The answer was not in killing the boy if it could be helped, and he was in no condition to be moved; so Helena went with the best choice possible. Get the Circle to come to the young mage. 

“It seems you’ve joined us just in time to go to the Circle Tower, I doubt a person like you would be too anxious to go in there.” Morrigan spoke to Zevran with the smirk evident in her tone. Personally she wasn’t too thrilled to go see where other magic users decided to call a gilded cage home. They were beneath her, afraid of their own natural born gifts.

Zevran gave a casual shrug, “if you mean that I am not the kind of person to throw myself in needless danger, then yes I am that kind of person. However I am sure that I have nothing to fear...I do have the Warden’s favor, do I not?”

Alistair could be heard behind them, interjecting, “There IS more than one Warden you know!”

The Crow smirked, not turning around to reply, “ah yes there’s the other one who is technically her senior who doesn’t know how to make any sort of important decision. Forgive me for forgetting to include that.”

Alistair’s glare could be felt on Zevran’s back but he paid it no heed. He had gotten comfortable enough with the other members to throw back what they gave him. They were not the ones to spare his life, he owed no one any sort of decency except Helena, and if she asked it of him. He was loyal enough to accomplish that much.

Helena walked ahead of the others, rolling her eyes up to the sky as she listened to them bicker, though a look of mischief tugging at her lips suggested she was also quite amused by it all. “We have nothing to fear in the Circle. Besides we need to call in their agreement to the treaty, we will need them.”

Alistair sighed, “hopefully it’ll be less of a mess than Redcliffe.” He shuddered thinking of the dead walking about all ‘willy nilly’ as he had described it.

There was a grunt from Morrigan as the two Wardens spoke, “thank you both for jinxing it before we even arrive.”

Leliana couldn’t help but give a soft laugh, her accent lilting through the air, “I didn’t think such a person as yourself would believe in things like bad luck.”

Morrigan turned her gaze slowly to Leliana, “I don’t usually, but this has been a rather...eye opening experience, wouldn’t you say?” 

While the others began to talk amongst themselves, and forget about the assassin in their midst, Zevran brought himself to Helena’s side. “You have a chipper group, no?” The elf asked.

The warden gave a chuckle, “that’s the nice way to put it, but, yes, yes they are.” She walked with Zevran in silence for a while, not minding the lack of chatter between them. To be honest she could have done with no talking from any of them for a mile or two.

“...What happened in Redcliffe?” Finally Zevran couldn’t bear the curiosity any longer and broached the question. His voice was quiet, casual as if he were trying to appear uninterested.

Helena thought about his question, tiling her head as she gave him a side glance. “The dead started to attack the village at night.” The woman had not been one for beating around the bushes when it could be avoided. Teyrn Cousland had not only raised a diplomatic girl, but a straightforward one when the occasion called for it. “They kept coming in droves, from the castle and even the lake by the time we got there. It was unpleasant, naturally.”

He almost wished he hadn’t asked, the dead walking, it was enough to make anyone’s skin crawl. Zevran let out the breath he held as Helena spoke, “of course, naturally it was unpleasant.” The Crow couldn’t help but smirk a little, the woman had a way about her, so confident and nonchalant in the face of such situations as walking dead and attempted assassinations. “You are unphased by much, it is refreshing.”

“Yes well when you have to travel with Alistair, it becomes a necessity so he has time to freak out.” Helena quipped back. A moment of silence passed between them before she returned the compliment, “so is your carefree manner.” Lake Calenhad was not far now and Helena looked to the sky, judging what time they would get there. “I think another half hour if we keep up this pace, and when we get to Lake Calenhad, we’ll take the ferry to the circle.” She said this not only to Zevran but to the others who had gotten quiet in the back, they must have called a timeout in their bickering. Poor Leliana always having to endure the pair.

Helena had been right on the money with her timing, in half an hour the group had come upon Lake Calenhad, Fell already eagerly going ahead to drink from the lake. 

Alistair grimaced a little, “Fell, I don’t think that’s sanitary.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you, when’s the last time you had a bath?” Morrigan asked Alistair.

The bastard prince shrugged, “the last time any of us did.” Though the back of his neck was red, signaling his embarrassment with Morrigan’s attack on his hygiene. 

Leliana rolled her eyes as Morrigan unleashed her wit on poor Alistair again. Really she had become accustomed to just keeping to herself when those two were at each other’s throats.

“Alright alright, back in your corners.” Helena stated to both of them. Fell though seemed to have not been satisfied with the lake water as Alistair suspected, and the Mabari made his way back to Helena’s side. Her gaze went toward the Ferry, frowning. It was a Templar standing there instead of the usual man.

Motioning Alistair to follow her, Helena headed toward the ferry, while the others and Fell stayed behind. 

Zevran watched as Helena did all the talking, again. It seemed Alistair was uncomfortable being in any sort of position of power or responsibility and it intrigued him as much as it intrigued him to to see how Helena took the helm in all her lack of experience as a Warden. From what he had heard from Morrigan, the Cousland had not been at this long.

Finally after some back and forth, Helena had convinced the Templar to take them across to the Circle and she had waved Morrigan, Leliana and Zevran over. Fell had resolutely decided to stay behind, going to curl up to nap under a tree, he was not fond of water at all. 

The day had felt long enough with all their walking but when the group had entered the tower it was obvious that the day was nowhere near being over.

“What in the maker” Leliana breathed under her breath as the tension of the templars fell upon the whole group. This couldn’t be good.

Helena could only give an inward sky, try not to look up at the sky for any dirty looks at a possible higher being and cordially walked over to Knight-Commander Greagoir. She was not familiar with those within the ranks of templars or mages, but it was always easy to pick out the one in charge in these situations.

“I do not think we’ll be getting help just yet.” Zevran commented idly to Leliana. 

Leliana nodded in agreement, “it seems that we are coming across more difficulties than one would imagine, especially considering we are already dealing with the Blight and the man who hired you.” Her glance was accusing as she said the last part and Zevran just gave a charming grin, “I would like to point out he did not hire me personally but my bosses who then gave it to me.” The whole time Zevran talked, he couldn’t help but let his gaze continually slide back to Helena.

Meanwhile Helena seemed agitated, “All I ask is that you give me a chance to see if First Enchanter Irving is alive and well, I can bring him and the others out safely.” 

There was something in the conviction in her voice and her word of honor as a warden and a Cousland that finally had Greagoir relenting. The assassin noted that Helena did seem to have a way with people, always bringing them to her side, it was impressive to the Crow. 

Despite Zevran’s admiration for Helena, he had to battle his own instincts when it came to entering the circle, past the safety of the entrance hall and templars. He did it though, not wanting to stay behind.

Leliana stayed behind, but only to stay Greagoir’s hand from an annulment. The others had followed after Helena dutifully.

**********************************************

The thing about towers, is they have the unpleasant advantage on their side of seeming to go on forever. Helena had felt this way after three floors of fighting demons, possessed templars, and mages turned abomination or working blood magic. In her party at hand was a new mage. Wynne, who had been defending the children and apprentices, Morrigan had taken her place to continue the barrier while Wynne joined Helena, Alistair, and Zevran. Approaching yet another room, weapons at the ready, they encountered a demon unlike the others they had encountered. 

While the demon had put them all to sleep, Helena’s three companions left her as she faded from consciousness. Waking up, it all felt too real, as if in those dreams where you can feel the fall as you drop from the sky but more than that. Helena wandered around Weisshaupt and came to realize she was in the Fade. This was a sensation that jolted her whole being to a higher state of alert, and little did the Warden know that this would be another never ending task.

*********************************************************

The worst part of the whole Fade ordeal was seeing the others in their dreams and nightmares, and having to pull them out of it. Alistair’s desire to have a family was crushing, and Wynne’s guilt, all of it was too private to witness. 

Zevran had appeared before her, being tortured when Helena had started her search for the last member of her party. The redhead had to convince the Elf that his initiation into the Crow was over, that it wasn’t real, just as she’d convinced the others. When Zevran finally realized that Helena was right, the two Crows turned on her and she dealt with them quickly, tired of having to battle everything around every corner. Before Zevran could ask about it all, he was disappearing, “Helena? Wait, why am I leaving?” Like that Helena was alone again.

“What a weird bird.” Helena mumbled as she reflected on his less than standard response to being tortured.

It may have taken most of her energy and strength but Helena had pushed through the Fade and the tower, bringing back First Enchanter Irving to Knight-Commander Greagoir. Battling Uldred had been something that had taken all four of them together to do, with the rogue Warden having pushed her dagger through the top of Uldred’s skull in the end. 

Covered in whatever made up demons, abominations, possessed templars, and blood mages, Helena had helped Irving make his way back down the steps and watched as she let him have a moment to speak with Greagoir. 

Leliana had walked over to Helena, “you...look…”

“Disgusting. Which is exactly how I feel.” Helena had responded, grimacing a little as she flicked some unpleasant squishy mess from her shoulder.

While Leliana hid her amusement, Morrigan let out a cackle, “you’re worse than Alistair now.”

Hearing that, Helena shot Morrigan a small glare, but a smirk was already twitching on her lips. “Yes well, we can’t all be so lucky as to get a shower every time it rains, you know, since the rest of us wear proper clothes.” The smirk had grew wider on her pale pink lips, and Morrigan looked amused by the quick retort. 

“Fair enough,” she responded to Helena airily.

Zevran had gone over toward Helena, wanting to say something, but it was at this moment that Helena had separated herself from the group to go speak with Irving and Greagoir.

Approaching the two, the warden gave a small bow. “I know that what happened here has made things chaotic, but I would like to know if the Mages would uphold the treaties? We need all the help we can get.” Alistair stood behind Helena, looking solemn for once. This had been an ill wind, but the treaties were necessary.

“Of course Warden.” Irving had responded, and Helena didn’t give him more time to elaborate as she tactfully went to her next request.

“I also...urgently need the help of the Circle, the Arl of Redcliffe’s son was possessed by a demon, and we cannot bring him here safely, I will need the assistance of enough mages to have one get to the fade and help him. Please, he’s just a child.” Helena in that moment had to give a quick look away, afraid to belay her feelings as she thought about her own nephew, cold and dead in Highever.

This time it was Irving who spoke swiftly to prevent any interruptions, putting down Greagoir’s protests as he agreed to help the child.

****************************************

Helena had decided that Lake Calenhad’s tavern would do fine instead of a camp. Taking the few rooms they had, and paying while the others went to get settled in.

Having no appetite after such an exhausting endeavor, Helena had gone straight to the room she would share with Morrigan and Leliana, letting the others eat or drink while she went to get clean. She had a basin of warm water and a cloth, having stripped herself of her armor, the redhead was scrubbing her face and hands vigorously when she heard a knock.

“Warden...a word please?” Zevran asked outside her door.

Pausing, she was decent enough, but more than that, Helena made sure she had a dagger on her before she cleared her throat to answer, “come in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to go into too much detail with things we've all had to play/go through on the game so some stuff may seem very basic. On the other hand, I will be having more detailed between characters and will be jumping about the timeline now that I've gotten a better flow.


	5. Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is time to start making progress to Denerim, Brother Genitivi may have a lead.
> 
> Zevran and the Warden seem to be getting along well enough.

Zevran had stepped inside, delicately closing the door behind him. Helena had stood by a sturdy small wooden desk and she didn’t seem too apprehensive about having her would be assassin alone in her room. Then again, she was not as easy to read as the others in their ragtag group. He was studying her and suddenly Zevran was pulled from his curiosity as Helena cleared her throat to get his attention. 

“You wanted to speak?” She asked, gesturing for him to come in a bit more instead of standing so close to the door.

Zevran nodded slightly, “yes, I just wanted to thank you again for sparing my life.” There was a certain charm to Zevran, and of course he knew this, his eyes didn’t leave Helena as he spoke.

The warden smirked. “Is that truly what you came to speak about?” Helena doubted him, but the Crow had to chalk it up to this woman being a bit more observant than he had credited her to be.

A chuckle passed his lips, “perhaps not..” He thought about everything, “I wanted to thank you, but I also wanted to speak with you about the circle.”

Helena had wondered if any of them would speak to her about the things she had seen for them in the Fade. Not only that, but, it had to be a shock for them even if she hadn’t seen it.

Zevran continued when she didn’t speak, “I suppose you saw lots of interesting things in the Fade..but..I wanted to see how you were doing? I can’t imagine how tiring it was. And you seemed very adamant about saving the mages.”

There it was for Helena to digest. Zevran had been elusive but in the end, he had simply wanted to check in on her, or perhaps he was looking for a weakness the woman couldn’t get a reading on him.

“I know this isn’t customary but I’ve noticed that sometimes the others depend on you too much, they forget to ask how you’re doing.” He grinned widely, “I would never forget to ask a woman as beautiful as yourself if you were faring okay.” 

Helena finally let out her own chuckle, it sounded unrestricted and completely bemused by her tone. “Well I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting that.” She thought about his question, was she entirely comfortable with even sharing such information with him? It was a bit murky when Helena thought about it all, a part of her wanted to tell someone. She’d kept silent about most everything, it was obvious that Alistair had not wanted to be thrusted into a position of leadership and it had fallen to her. 

The battle going on didn’t escape Zevran and he watched her face as Helena at least considered it. 

The smirk came back and Helena shrugged, “I have a feeling you say that to all the ladies” she had replied, adding, “people cannot help what they’re born as, why should I have let them purge the tower when most of the people in it had committed no crime other than be born a mage.” She furrowed her brows, “I do not think it is a crime to be one, but, you’ve seen how we treat those who are different.” Realizing she had said such a statement to Zevran, Helena looked to him quickly.

Zevran smirked, “I admire your views. Me? I feel everyone has the potential to be dangerous.”

“Maybe because you’re an assassin and feel everyone’s out to get you.” Helena replied dryly, this had the Crow chuckling and the woman could barely suppress the amused smirk tugging on her own lips.

Zevran bowed his head slightly to Helena, “as I said I just wanted to thank you, and see how the burden of the circle wore on you. I’ll take my leave unless, perhaps, you need a way to wind down?”

Helena smirked wider than before, “thank you for your kind offer, but I think I’ll be okay, have a good night Zevran.” While Zevran’s request had been denied, it didn’t seem to deter him in the least bit. Zevran turned to go, closing the door behind him, his footsteps silent.

Watching the door for a moment, the Grey Warden found herself going to plunk down on the edge of her bed and letting out a slow breath. He was much more observant than the others, it was no wonder, but it would do Helena well to remember that he was a Crow and she should do better to hide her reactions.

Zevran smirked as he made his way back to his room, Helena was more perceptive than he originally thought, it would be fun to work with her. However, he was puzzled by the lack of leadership from Alistair, the older warden had simply let Helena take the reins, which was fine, but, perhaps a little odd. In his own room he looked about, he was not yet worried about having to take extra measures for Crows following him. For now, let them think he was dead. 

Meanwhile most of the others had already started to drift off to the rooms to sleep. It was late, and the day had been a long and grueling one.

Helena had closed her eyes, almost afraid to, worried that when she did the Fade would be there waiting for her. Being a mouse had not been frightening and neither was the Fade itself, it had been the uncertainty of it all, not knowing if she would ever escape. Between that and seeing her family strewn about Highever, she slept rather poorly.

Days had passed in which they had gone back to Redcliffe with Enchanter Irving and then onward to Denerim as they were given a lead on how to help the ailing Arl of Redcliffe. There they would track down Brother Genitivi. For now they had stopped along the way to make camp, it was dark already and Helena had been satisfied with the progress they made. 

“You saved Connor’s life back there” Alistair had said admiringly as he walked by Helena’s side. 

Blue eyes went to slide their gaze to Alistair as Helena tilted her head to look at him, “a child’s life is always worth at least the attempt of saving.” Her thoughts flashed toward Oren, he had been a happy child. 

Alistair nodded, “that’s true, but not everyone would have gone to such lengths.” He truly admired his fellow Warden in that moment.

“Perhaps..” Helena replied somewhat distracted as she watched Leliana chide Zevran for his attempt to woo her once more. This had Helena chuckling a bit and Alistair had gone to move his gaze in the same direction as hers.

“Do you really believe that an assassin from Antiva is the best sort of ally?” This was one point where he did not even agree a little with Helena.

Alistair’s words caused Helena to smile softly, “honestly, I don’t know but our numbers are small and we could use all the help we can get. You may not like it, but, you’ve let me take up leadership, so, if I’m wrong, at least you can rub my face in it.”

“If we’re alive for me to do that” Alistair grumbled in reply.

Helena laughed and went to walk over toward Fell who was sitting and waiting patiently for her with something in his mouth. Upon closer inspection it seemed Fell had found someone’s shoe, and by the look of it, it appeared to be one of Leliana’s. “Oh...not good boy.” Helena said this quietly to the mabari, trying to hide her amusement. Fell gave a small whimper as she took the shoe from him. Looked like she would have to apologize to Leliana for that, but as everyone started to get camp ready, the once noble made her way over toward Morrigan. The Witch of the Wilds had taken to setting up away from everyone else and Helena let her be in that regard.

Morrigan watched Helena approach as she was making up her own fire. “Something you need of me, Helena?”

Helena shook her head, “no, unless you’d like to repair Leliana’s shoe for me.” She smirked as she held up the once dainty slipper. “I actually wanted to just speak with you for a moment.” 

Morrigan didn’t respond, her eyes had gone from the shoe back over to Helena’s face, expectantly waiting for the Warden to address her.

“I wanted to thank you.” Helena spoke frankly, giving a shrug of her shoulders.

This took Morrigan by surprise, and it showed on her features as she opened her mouth slightly but had no quick retort, “..for what?”

“You didn’t have to go in the Fade to help Connor, but, you did when I asked. Thank you.” Helena went to look at the shoe in her hand in sighed, “I suppose I better go beg forgiveness from Leliana now.”

Before Helena had walked away though, Morrigan had quietly responded, “you’re welcome.”

Helena’s steps paused and she’d given a small nod of her head, back turned to Morrigan as she then continued to the next matter at hand.

Alistair was going about getting the fire ready for the camp while Leliana and Zevran were setting up their tents. When Helena approached Leliana, she simply cleared her throat to announce her arrival.

Leliana looked to Helena a pleasant smile on her face until she glanced at the shoe Helena held in her hand, “why that flea bitten monster!” 

Fell whined at being called that as he had come to sit by Helena, while Morrigan had announced from her spot, “I thought Fell ruined her shoe, not Alistair.”

Alistair looked up from arranging firewood as he heard Morrigan, “oh haha! So funny!”

Zevran was chuckling at the amusing scene unfolding in front of him.

Helena sighed and raised her eyes heavenwards as she was prone to do when those two spoke before looking back to Leliana, “I am so sorry, please, allow me to buy you another pair.”

Leliana looked at the shoe forlornly, “you can’t, they were special made for me in Orlais.”

The warden felt guilty, looking to Fell she gave him a small glare which only caused him to whimper and look down. Sighing inwardly this time, Helena looked back to Leliana, “I am even more sorry, but at least let me buy you a new pair of Orlesian shoes in Denerim.”

Leliana shook her head, “It’s okay Helena, I know that it’s not your fault.” Her gaze was wistful as she directed it to the ruined shoe once more and shook her head, “really it’s fine. Thank you for confronting me about it.”

This did little to appease Helena’s guilt but she just bowed her head a little and went to go set up her own tent. Looking down at the shoe, she seemed to have a thought, placing it in her pack.

When everyone had set up their tents and sat around for dinner, Zevran had been quick to take a place next to Helena. It only delighted him more that Alistair had scowled seeing him next to the woman. The man said he wasn’t jealous, but, still his unease was amusing to the Crow.

Helena had barely even glanced to Zevran when he sat down, going to take a bite of the catch of the day, Leliana was certainly a useful person to have in their corner, having the best marksmanship with a bow than any of them. Zevran looked to Helena, “another long day, sure you do not want any help unwinding?”

Helena smirked and finally looked to Zevran, “we both know my answer, but points for being persistent.” Her thoughts had been dark the past few days, since the Circle when left to her own devices. Thankfully they were a busy bunch and that left little opportunity to do so.

Zevran chuckled, “I think you like my persistence.” 

“I think you like your persistence.” The banter with the elf was easy and Helena welcomed it as long as Zevran did not overstep any boundaries. 

“Mmm...this is true.” Zevran began to eat, watching the others as he did so, he could feel Helena relax beside him, letting down her guard, if only to eat.

Alistair had gone to sit next to Leliana and sighed loudly as he did so, “don’t feel too bad about your shoe, Fell decided that I was a chew toy for a couple of days. He kept slobbering all over me and I’m pretty sure he left a mark on my left leg.” 

Leliana smiled as Alistair attempted to cheer her up, though he had gone to look at Zevran and Helena. “Thank you,” she continued on, “are you sure you’re not perhaps a little jealous? Zevran is quite flirtatious, as is Helena, I don’t think I would worry if I were you.” 

Alistair gave an over exaggerated snort, “jealous? I think not!” He stopped as Leliana just stared at him expectantly, “truly, I’m not, but, I do not trust him.”

This seemed logical enough and Leliana went to pat him on the arm, “it’s okay Alistair, we are all here and Helena is more than capable of protecting herself, even against a Crow.”

Helena had begun to clean her armor, using the light of the fire as she did so and listening to Leliana’s story as everyone had finished eating. She had to admit that Leliana was quite the skilled storyteller and she enjoyed, and welcomed, the distraction.

Zevran sat next to Helena still, going to smirk when the story finally ended, “You are beautiful and gifted with words, if you let me, I may be able to inspire you for a new story.” He was charming as always, and a flirt, as always.

Leliana chuckled, “I think not, I’m sorry but you’re not really my type” it was a gentle tease and her eyes showed the amusement of it all.

This seemed to greatly amuse Morrigan, “are you bound and determined to sleep with the whole camp? For I think you’ll find yourself thwarted by a good many who are not so foolish as to fall for your charms. Lest we want to be stabbed in the back.”

Zevran pretended to look offended, “you are a harsh mistress, but I’m sure you would be one worth having.”

Morrigan simply rolled her eyes. “I think I’ll return to my tent. Far away from you and the simpering fool.”

Alistair sighed, “could be worse, at least I don’t resemble Flemeth.”

This clearly agitated Morrigan as she shot the ex templar a glare and hastily retreated away from the group.

Leliana shook her head, “Alistair I would not mess with her, she is still a powerful mage.”

To this Alistair simply shrugged, “I wouldn’t if she weren’t so rude. I’m off to sleep though. Good night.” He stood up and retreated to his tent as well. 

Helena watched the two leave, she was also thinking of Sten and Wynne, she had given them a task, and they were to meet her in Denerim when they finished it, she was leaving word at the Arl’s place to redirect them as needed, but still, that was two more members of her team she did not have with her. She was lost in thought when Zevran put a gentle hand on to her arm, bringing her back, her hand had shot out to push his away. As if realizing what she did, the woman smirked, “you should know better than to startle a rogue.”

Zevran chuckled, “I could not help myself, you seemed so focused and I thought perhaps you had not heard what I had said.”  
Leliana interjected, “I daresay she was not bothered that she missed what you said.” She stood up and bowed her head to them both, “good night.” She looked to Helena, “I am just in my tent, should you need me.” A look had been shot to Zevran when she spoke daring him to say anything, then eyes back on Helena before she walked away.

Helena looked to Zevran, “did you need something of me, were you asking a question?”

Zevran gave a half smile, “I feel it’s not too important now. Looks like we are alone, just the two of us once more. Perhaps that is a sign?”

“Yes I think it is.” Helena gathered up her armor as she stood, “it means it’s time for us to go to bed.” She added, “our own separate tents Zevran.”

The elf was not at all put off, in fact he was smirking, “I think you like my advances Warden.”

“Is it hard, to stay in such a blissful and ignorant state?” Helena asked this with a wide smirk, chuckling as she shook her head. “Good night Zevran.”

Zevran watched Helena walk off into her tent, she was brave, walking away from him and leaving him with the rest of the camp asleep. Or perhaps she knew what he did as well, he made a promise, and even Crows keep their promises. There was also the third option, that she was going to be listening for him. He was unsure which thought was in Helena’s mind but eventually he put out the fire and went to his tent.

What felt like hours later, and even the sky confirmed that it was indeed hours later, Zevran woke up. For a moment he lay there, dagger already poised. Something had woken him, laying there listening, he frowned slightly, there was the sound again. It sounded like Helena. “It’s good to know the rest of the camp wouldn’t hear if she was murdered,” he grumbled as he left his tent and made his way to hers. He paused, now realizing what the sounds were, the fearless leader was having a nightmare. Unsure of what to do, Zevran stood there for a moment. Finally he took his chances, sheathing his dagger lest Helena saw it and slew him first.

Inside Helena was gasping in her sleep as if she couldn’t breathe and tossed and turned. “Gilmore!” The name was ripped from her throat, “No! I will-”

Zevran kneeled beside the Warden, no one should have their innermost feelings witnessed by others, especially not while they slept. He sighed softly, “Warden, Helena, it is Zevran, please, do not stab me.” He was putting a hand tentatively on her shoulder, at first Helena did not wake, but Zevran continued to announce his presence, asking her to wake up, that it was alright. “Come, it is okay to wake up. It’s not as scary as wherever you are now.” 

Finally, the tossing and turning ceased, blue eyes slowly opened, immediately Helena panicked seeing Zevran above her, she went to grab her dagger but his hand quickly shot out to grab her wrist. “You were having a nightmare, I have no weapon in my hand, I came to wake you.”

The words were registering in her sleep filled mind and her hand relaxed off the dagger. “I was that loud?” Helena asked, concern and disapproval in her voice.

The crow watched her carefully, releasing her wrist almost reluctantly, she was soft, made of flesh and for some reason it mildly surprised Zevran even though he seemed to be one of the few to recognize she was not made of strength and stone. “I am not sure, I tend to keep one ear open, so to say, when I sleep.” He hesitated before asking, “Helena, are you alright? The dream sounded rather unpleasant.”

Helena rubbed her face, trying to wake up more. “Of course, it was just a silly dream.” Even saying that, her heart clenched painfully in her chest.

“Who...is Gilmore?” Zevran asked this carefully, adding, “you do not have to answer of course, I simply heard you call his name.”

The Warden shook her head, “it matters not now. You can go back to sleep, thank you for waking me.” She was clamming up, the mention of his name seemed to have that effect on her. “I am sorry to have woken you.” 

He gave a faint smirk and went to look to Helena, “I won’t tell anyone, you don’t have to worry. You can trust me with that.”

Helena peered at Zevran, “can I though?”

Zevran’s smirk faltered, “I have given my word of loyalty, it will hold up until you tell me to do otherwise.” Was he offended? His voice sounded almost injured, his pride being the victim. He started to stand but stopped, Helena spoke her voice sounded tired, “I loved him from the moment I saw him as a child…and planned to for the rest of our lives. There is my sign of good faith. You now have his name, you have power over me.”

He stood there, thinking of what Helena had just said, “no, we are equal now, the trust will have to be mutual from this point on.” Zevran didn’t want to hold something over the Warden. "Good night Helena." He took leave of her tent, Zevran did not believe in staying in a tent where one was not invited. Unless of course you were hired to kill that person. Back in his own tent, he lay down and thought of what Helena told him, she had given him a secret. Why?


End file.
